Wedding Planning ↠ 10 Decisions I Would Happily Make Again

Weirdly, it feels like it’s been a lifetime since our big ‘I Do’ day, but in reality, it’s only been shy of 5 months. Over those 5 months, though, I’ve had time to reflect on the day and all it entailed, including things I would 110% do a second time and things I would absolutely not bother with if I had my time again.

Chris proposed in June 2022, and it was November/December of the same year that we started looking at venues and talking about what we wanted for our day. Chris was a big advocate for a casual elopement at the town hall, while I was a little more traditional in wanting a big day to celebrate us as a couple – call me self-centred, but yeah, I wanted that day where all the attention was on us.

I was never one of those girls who hugely fantasised about their wedding or what they’d wear on the day, so when it came to planning the real thing, I was definitely starting from scratch and not relying on years of having dreamt about it. One thing I didn’t do, which in hindsight I wish I had, was read what brides before me had or hadn’t done, hence why I’ve decided to put my personal opinions and experience in writing in the hope it may help future brides-to-be in planning their big day.

2 and a half years went into planning our wedding day, and below are ten things I would happily do again.

1. Choosing a wedding venue that’s right for you

The venue is arguably one of the most important decisions you make, as it determines a fair chunk of what else will make up the day, for example, whether you go with a DIY venue where you need to organise almost everything else like caterers and the bar, or you choose two separate venues, one for the ceremony and one for the reception. We looked at a handful of venues ranging from DIY ones to all-in-ones, including:

There were a few others I had contacted, but we didn’t actually view in person due to either the price or that they didn’t offer weekend weddings. Of the above, our top three were Bellbrae Harvest, Basils Farm and Provenance Wines. Ultimately, we decided that we preferred the idea of a one-stop shop that not only could we have both the ceremony and reception at, but also handled things from the food to the drinks, meaning we didn’t need to source outside caterers or a bar.

At all but one venue visit, when I’d ask Chris what he thought of the place, the answer was almost always, “yeah, it’s alright”. So when we walked into Provenance Wines, a stunning heritage-listed wedding venue with an Oregon timber-lined cathedral-like ceiling, rustic, white-washed bluestone walls lined with barrels and beautiful soft greenery throughout, and Chris instantly expressed his tick of approval for the place, it was a no-brainer that we had just found our wedding venue. It also helps that Sarah, one of the event coordinators at Provenance, instantly felt like family.

Our venue is definitely one thing I would not change if we did the day over. While many of the other venues we looked at were lovely, none of them gave us the same initial gut feeling and excitement that Provenance did. Aside from the fact that every corner of the venue is stunning, it also had the most options when it came to ceremony locations; from the choice of having it indoors or outdoors, whether you want the backdrop to be that of the winery hall or the white-washed bluestone walls, or, if like me, you want the grandness that comes with the grand hall venue – I mean the name says it all.

2. Find a wedding dress that represents your unique style

While I was never really one to daydream about what my dress would look like, I did have a Pinterest board where I’d occasionally pin a dress I liked the style of, and there was one dress that I’d seen online that initially I thought I’d love to be ‘the one’ – it was a Rue De Seine orange, bohemian-style dress that was only available at one bridal shop in Victoria which went into liquidation shortly after my engagement so I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

I knew I didn’t really want to go to Melbourne for a dress, preferring the idea of a more local option. At the recommendation of a friend, I booked a fitting with Soho Bride, a bridal shop in Newtown.

At my first visit, I decided I was going to stay open-minded and just try on everything so I could get an idea of what style I did or didn’t like.

I’m a big fan of sets/two-piece outfits, so when I tried on a particular skirt, I was instantly drawn to the idea of a two-piece wedding “dress”. I considered looking at other bridal shops, but after a few weeks of constantly thinking about this skirt, I didn’t bother contacting any where else. About a month after my initial visit, I booked a follow-up fitting to confirm that the skirt was the one – it was indeed, and from then on, all fittings were based around finding the perfect top to accompany the skirt. I opted to have a top custom-made, one because it meant it would fit perfectly and two, because it actually worked out cheaper than buying one off the rack and having it tailored.

I always hated the idea of spending hundreds (if not, thousands) of dollars on something that I’d only wear once so another reason I love the top and skirt I chose is the idea that, while I haven’t as of yet, I could re-wear the top or skirt separately if I wished to.

3. Bridesmaids’ dresses + flowers: creating a cohesive look

It was really important to me that when it came to picking a dress for my bridesmaids that they would feel comfortable and themselves in it, so much so that they would want to wear the dress again and again in the future. Given they’re all different builds, heights and body shapes, I didn’t want to force my closest four friends into wearing the same style dress that some, or all, wouldn’t feel comfortable in on the day. Therefore, it was a no-brainer for me; I simply let them know the colour I wanted them in and let them have free rein in choosing what they wanted to wear. The girls chose dresses from Billy J’s bridesmaid collection in the colour ‘rust’. Unlike a lot of other bridesmaid dresses I looked at, I think the range from Billy J was great value and had enough options for them to choose from.

Along with the bridesmaids, my daughters, Sahara and Airlie, and niece, Aneesa, were in orange-hued dresses – Sahara and Airlie’s dressing having been hand-made by Chris’ mum while Aneesa’s was a lucky find on Amazon.

While I opted to have the bridesmaids all dressed in the same colour, the other option you could consider is having them in different shades of a particular colour. Either way, I would 110% recommend letting your bridesmaids choose their own dress, and I have no regrets over this decision.

When it came to their flowers, I decided to step away from the norm of having actual bouquets and opted for each girl to have a single stem flower that made up my bouquet. I made this decision mostly based on the fact that more often than not the bouquets are held for the ceremony and photos and then pretty much discarded for the rest of the night so I felt like it would be a waste to do full bouquets, plus I wanted something different and I hadn’t seen the idea of single stems much. 110% would do this again!

4. To Cake or Not To Cake

Look, it’s definitely personal preference as to whether you do a wedding cake or not, and while potentially becoming a little more common not to, it’s still a big tradition that many opt for. I for one did not and don’t regret it for a second.

Firstly, wedding cakes are not cheap and for good reason. Having a sister who is a baker, I know firsthand how much time and effort goes into making a wedding cake, so I understand why they’re expensive. For me, it purely came down to previous weddings I’ve been a guest at and seeing how 80% of the time the cake isn’t even eaten, and I couldn’t fathom the idea of spending all this money on something that would essentially go to waste.

Secondly, with Provenance, the dinner menu already included dessert, so I didn’t see the need to offer more on top of that. From the minute the ceremony finished, guests were going to receive canapes, followed by a sit-down two-course meal, and then dessert, so a cake felt unnecessary – plus Chris isn’t a massive cake person anyway.

5. Wedding transport: arriving in style to your venue

If you’re getting married at a venue where you’re not actually getting ready, then you’re going to need to think about how you’ll get there. Funnily enough, in the beginning, it wasn’t something I’d put much thought into. My dad had said he wanted to organise a nice fancy car for me to arrive in, but I was initially against the idea because no one would see me arrive, so I saw it as a bit of a waste of money. Now, though, it’s one of the top things I’m glad I changed my mind about.

It would have been just under 2 weeks before the big day when I decided maybe I should actually look into some sort of transport for getting myself, the bridesmaids, my parents, and the flower kids to the venue. I’ve always loved kombis, plus I had a gift voucher for Hire a Kombi from our engagement party that was expiring soon, so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and use the voucher to book some transport, and that’ll be it. Unfortunately, Hire a Kombi were already fully booked for our wedding date – no surprise really given it was less than 2 weeks away and most people probably organise these details with much more notice! Fortunately, they were lovely enough to recommend another local company, Coastal Kombis, who did have availability and, better yet, the package they offered meant they could pick up Chris and the groomsmen, drop them at the venue, then come collect me and my entourage, plus stick around long enough for us to get some photos with the kombi after the ceremony if we wished to.

Mark, who was our driver on the day, played a big part in making the experience what it was; from being on time and organised enough to have a little checklist for us to go through before leaving our accommodation to make sure we didn’t forget anything, to providing beers and bubbles for the ride, and taking behind the scenes photos capturing extra moments was really special and much appreciated.

For something that I had little to no care in, booking the kombi is one of the highlights of the wedding for me. Not only did I get to tick off the experience of riding in a kombi, it also meant that instead of driving to the venue in separate cars, I got to have the experience of arriving with all my bridesmaids along with my parents, and that was really memorable.

6. Extra personal styling touches

With our welcome sign, I didn’t want it to be the typical “Welcome to the wedding of Chris + Cartier” because that felt boring to me, and why pay money for something I wouldn’t really use again? I’ve been a follower of Prints By Gigi on Instagram for some time, and I always loved the look of her Life Event Print and thought it would make for a unique welcome sign that I could then hang in the house. I opted to get the design digitally (which cost $17.50) and then printed it locally with SCS Geelong (it was $55) – for reference, I had got a quote from another printer, which was $170!

One of the other main personal touches I’m really glad I did was our memory candle and generations of love tribute. It was really important to me to honour my late grandparents, whom I would have loved nothing more than to have been present on my big day. Making a custom candle was a given, but I wanted something else, too. I’d come across a Pinterest image of someone who had wedding photos of their significant family members displayed at their own wedding, and instantly loved the idea. I secretly asked various family members from both my side and Chris’ for their favourite wedding photos and then printed these, displaying them in various frames next to the candle. We had wedding photos from both our parents, my late grandparents, both sets of Chris’ grandparents, our aunts and uncles, plus some of Chris’ great and great-great grandparents.

7. Crafting your own wedding rings: a meaningful + memorable experience

One thing Chris was adamant about was making our own wedding bands instead of buying them, in the beginning, I was neither here nor there whether we made them or bought them, in the end I’m glad we made them as not only was it a fun experience, it’s also made the rings themselves that little bit more sentimental and special.

As my engagement ring is a custom ring designed by New York-based jeweller, Alexis Russell, it was a challenge finding a wedding band that fit the style of ring I have, opting to make them ended up being a helpful decision as it meant the band would fit my engagement ring perfectly.

There aren’t many companies out there that offer wedding ring making experiences; the two I came across were Blonde and Larsen. There wasn’t a huge difference in price between the two, with Blonde coming in at $3237 and Larsen at $3520 for the specific rings we were interested in. Ultimately, we went with Larsen as they felt like a better fit for what we wanted and offered the ability to engrave the rings. Their workshop experience also included lunch (although it was essentially just $50 to go to whatever nearby cafe or restaurant).

The experience itself was super fun; it was an almost full-day activity at their Melbourne-based studio, and as we did it on a Monday, a day they’re usually closed, we had the whole place to ourselves, making the experience all the more personal. The process involved starting from the complete raw material of the white gold to shaping it, soldering it, polishing and all the finer details of making a ring from scratch.

I made Chris’s ring while he made mine; the only parts of the ring that weren’t personally done by us are the engraving of our wedding date inside the rings, and Chris’s ring has engraving on the outside of my fingerprint.

While not an experience I originally cared whether we did or not, it’s one I’m definitely glad Chris was insistent about, and one I would recommend to any couple, even if it’s not necessarily making your wedding bands and rather just an everyday ring.

8. Wedding website vs. traditional invites

An additional absolute-would-do-again was not printing invitations, instead opting for a wedding website as a digital alternative.

I get it, sometimes it’s nice to receive a physical invitation, but with that comes extensive costs from the printing of them to the actual postage for those that aren’t close enough to hand deliver to. Having a digital version in the form of a website is so convenient, not only for cutting printing and postage costs, but being able to include extra information that wouldn’t fit on a traditional paper invite, like full event details and timelines, an introduction to your bridal party, and accommodation information for travelling guests. Using a dedicated wedding website platform also allows for guests to seamlessly RSVP via the website without having to post an RSVP via snail mail.

There are an abundance of hosting websites you can choose from, and it’s as simple as typing “wedding website” into Google to find one. I went with Minted as it was super user-friendly and allowed me to design the site exactly as I wanted, from colour scheme to pages included, as well as the ability to password lock the site so it wasn’t accessible to uninvited guests – they needed the password to access the website. You can opt to use the automatically generated URL or pay for a custom one; with Minted, they have the option of a 12-month domain for only $15, which I did.

I created our website (it’s still accessible if you need any inspo) around January 2023, designing the pages and content to go on the actual site, and then purchased the domain in March 2024, so the 12-month validity lasted until the wedding and a little past. I then also designed a digital invite on Canva, which had the website details on it and sent that out to guests via text message.

9. Less is more, be selective with your guest list

It can be a controversial topic when it comes to the guest list of a wedding, whether it’s umming and ahhing over family members or close but not super close friends, ultimately, there’s always going to be one person who feels annoyed at your choice. At the end of the day, though, it’s your wedding and in my honest opinion, you have every right to be as cut-throat as you want when it comes to who does or doesn’t get an invite to YOUR day.

Three months after the proposal, we had an engagement party, which was a great way to decide on numbers for the actual wedding. We probably had around 70 people at the engagement party, and the whole night I felt like I was running around like a headless chicken trying to spend time with each guest, and it was exhausting, so when it came to the wedding, I knew I didn’t want the same experience. In the end, we had 66 confirmed guests, eight of whom made up our bridal party and four of whom were kids, and in reality, it was still too many. There were so many guests I didn’t get to talk to, and I feel quite bad about that.

During the wedding planning process, I’d come across a quote that said, “If the person doesn’t know what you or your partner do for work, then they’re not close enough to get an invite,” and I thought that was a pretty fair way to figure out if certain partners and plus ones got included or not – safe to say, there were a few that didn’t make the cut. It worked out to be $270 per head for our wedding, and even if cost wasn’t a factor, I truly believe the bride and groom have every right to dictate who they invite. Despite our guest list decisions resulting in a ‘friendship’ ending, I have no regrets.

10. Choosing the right celebrant for your wedding day

The entire vibe of the ceremony and tone for the rest of the day ultimately comes down to your celebrant, and let’s be honest, you want someone who is going to be relaxed yet polished, who can tell your story genuinely and engagingly.

We didn’t really meet too many celebrants before deciding on who we went with; one we met at an open day hosted by Rocklea Farm, and three others I’d found on Google, one of whom was Hannah May. As Hannah is based on the Mornington Peninsula, our first meeting was via Zoom, and despite Chris’ initial resistance because of her use of old-school corded headphones (a story for another day), we all just clicked, and about 5 minutes into the meeting, Chris and I agreed we’d found our celebrant.

Hannah made the entire process so easy, walking us through the legal process associated with a marriage and what was required (including the formal documents, all of which she lodged for us) while getting to know us and our story to ensure that our ceremony was lighthearted and filled with just the right amount of sentiment.